I'm not a big birthday guy; I never have been.

I get an idea about something. I just start thinking about it, and then I get onstage and I talk about it, and then I think about it some more and talk about it some more, and think about it some more and talk about it some more, until it starts to take a shape.

If I wanted to be bored by 6,000 pages of unreadable dreck, I'd read War and Peace four times.

If we're not going to tax the rich anymore, we're going to create class warfare.

We have fossils... We win!

If you're seeing a psychiatrist, you're wasting money because all you've got to do is get on a plane, get on a subway tomorrow and, inevitably, you're going to be seated in front of some guy who's playing with himself, and he'll be singing, 'Happy Days Are Here Again.' I tell you - when I see that guy, I feel pretty good about myself.

I think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes your mind off that.