Is a BJ adultery? What? Did I miss a day of school? Of course it is! Oral sex is adultery like Curling is an Olympic sport. The only thing is, oral sex should be in the Olympics because it's much harder than Curling, and if you're good at it, you DESERVE a medal!

You're on Facebook, and these people seem to have endless lives. I don't have time to live my life, let alone tell you what I'm doing, or post a photo.

I think the only reason you visit an Apple store is because you wonder what life is like on another planet.

Republicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas.

There are two things I know about life... Only the good die young but the real jerks will live forever.

Do you know what 'meteorologist' means in English? It means liar.

FEMA I always thought was a bone here in your ass.