The tortoise moves very slowly, it moves towards whatever the goal is, to keep a democratic capitalistic society functioning.

In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in twelve years, we'll be voting for plants.

Jesse Ventura is basically proof that the people of Minnesota are not social drinkers... they are obviously alcoholics.

I think that I don't panic as much as the folks on the left or the right do. I don't have that sense of panic.

I'm constantly in fear of having a stroke.

Can somebody explain to me why Pepsi and Coke advertise? Are we missing something? Seriously, everyone in this room has drank enough Pepsi and Coke in their lifetime they could piss it for a week.

If you want to get an audience quiet, just say "abortion" and everybody shuts up and the tension in the room is spectacular.