The whole Valentine's thing is fine, but you don't back it up right next to the biggest gift-giving holiday of the year. Unbelievable. And we find it acceptable.

When a country wants television more than they want clean water, they've lost their grip.

Mother Teresa had a mustache. Hitler had a mustache. Mother Teresa is Hitler.

Being a playwright is like the equivalent of doing a jigsaw puzzle that has 1,500 pieces, and it's a jigsaw of a blue sky. Not a cloud in sight.

One thing I know about the rich, being rich, is that you can take money from me and tomorrow, I'm still going to be rich.

If you're going to pick a book and you want to base a system of government around it, why not 'Harry Potter?'

These people [the Christians] watched the Flintstones as if it were a documentary.