There are two things I know about life... Only the good die young but the real jerks will live forever.
The fine line that you do when you do political comedy is, as long as you have that laugh, you're fine.
As psychotic as it gets outside, the comic can be more psychotic.
Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.
People would be a lot better off if they'd enjoy being single.
I have this insane optimistic streak that the American people prevail over the stupidity that the leadership exhibits time and time again, and I think that's the truth.