The whole Valentine's thing is fine, but you don't back it up right next to the biggest gift-giving holiday of the year. Unbelievable. And we find it acceptable.

Online, there's no time. It's always Christmas.

Glenn Beck has Nazi Tourettes'.

I don't Tweet a lot because I've Tweeted things that I thought were really innocuous about subjects that are inflammatory, and the response is so insane sometimes from people.

Some people have religion as a means of solace. But, I had a dreidel, so that was out.

Since there are so many idiots out there, you may actually start to think you're crazy. You are not. They are idiots.

Whenever someone says they believe the earth was created in 7 days, I grab a fossil and say, Fossil. And if they keep talking, I throw it just over their heads.