The fine line that you do when you do political comedy is, as long as you have that laugh, you're fine.

Let me be serious: divorce is a sacred institution between a man and a woman who hate each other. God wanted Adam to pay alimony to Eve, not Steve.

This book is dedicated to all of my friends who helped me get to where I am today - you know who you are... and when I find you I am going to kill you.

There should be a law that you can't shut down the government - that you don't have that power.

When I'm funny is when I'm angriest.

I think comics in New York are interested in being comics. And there're comics in L.A. who are touring comics, who are certainly more interested in stand-up, but a lot of L.A. stand-ups are really looking to do something else.

One of the interesting things about comedy is it's tension release, and nothing creates tension faster than anger.