The fine line that you do when you do political comedy is, as long as you have that laugh, you're fine.

There's a whole group of Christians who believe the individual is more important, but in the end I don't think that's what Christ was talking about.

Going up to Canada is great because I'm not dealing with people carrying their agendas into the room. I'm lucky because 97% of the people who come to the show know who they are dealing with, whether they are on the left or the right, we're sharing the same frustration.

For a while, I thought the great disappointment of my life was that I don't have a family of my own. Then it dawned on me: That's not what I think; that's what married people think.

I've got stuff about airline mergers, which just shows that my stand-up is getting more insane by the minute.

When I was a kid, you ate, and you drank, and you passed out and nobody woke you up and said, 'Let's go shopping.

Stupidity really gets me going, when it's just plain stupid, obvious stupidity.