Earth Day was created because we were doing a lot of drugs, more drugs than you could ever f@*! imagine. And so we came up with Earth Day, so we'd have one day that would remind us what planet we were living on.

My father worked at the Naval Ordnance Lab, and they had a nine-hole course on the property. You paid a quarter.

I'm a selfish, little pig of a man.

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

Everybody's got cable.

The Democrats have responded to the Republicans' lack of dealing with reality by truly not dealing with reality, either.

I continue to work on plays, but I've always felt that you could put a note in a bottle and send it offshore, and you'd have as much chance communicating with people.