I think that I don't panic as much as the folks on the left or the right do. I don't have that sense of panic.

I am angry that the Democrats don't have the ability to explain to Republicans that we should be able to feed people in this country, and that is not socialism.

The people we elect aren't bipartisan. The American public is bipartisan.

I think comics in New York are interested in being comics. And there're comics in L.A. who are touring comics, who are certainly more interested in stand-up, but a lot of L.A. stand-ups are really looking to do something else.

You realize that for all the shenanigans that go on in the big circus of politics, everybody wakes up and goes to work.

My favorite health club is the International House of Pancakes

It's amazing what I could've written in my life if I had realized that I should keep writing and not masturbating.