I had an iPhone and a Droid and both of them were miserable pieces of equipment.

I think that I don't panic as much as the folks on the left or the right do. I don't have that sense of panic.

Nobody in college races home and says, 'I can't wait to see the news! I can't wait to see who CBS is going to hire!'

I have no religion because I was born and raised Jewish. And on the first night of Hanukkah, my parents, when I was very young, gave me a top to play with. They called it a dreidel. I knew it was a top. And as I looked at that top, I said, 'You know. I don't think I'm gonna be Jewish for very long.

My touring has never stopped; from the time I started doing stand-up, I've been on the road.

I had to watch the Republican stuff which makes me feel even older than I am. By the time I get through the Democrats, I may be dead. I don't know how much older I can get.

The core of the American public, their hearts and their minds are in the right place. And that gives me hope.