We are all shitty little snowflakes dancing in the universe.

What is the difference between a Democrat and a Republican? A Democrat blows, a Republican sucks.

sometimes i wonder does god just not care are is he to busy ignoring your prayers

Glenn Beck has Nazi Tourettes'.

Now, they say that New Zealand is beautiful and I do not know -- because after 22 hours on a plane any landmass would be beautiful.

Ninety percent of a shirt that not only was bright purple and green but with a design on it that, if you moved too quickly, might cause a seizure in an unsuspecting onlooker.

I was a drinker, so I went through the scotches. Before single malts hit, there were really cheap scotches, because nobody was paying attention to them. Then by the time they started jacking those prices up, I moved on to vodka.