I believe that summer is our time, a time for the people, and that no politician should be allowed to speak to us during the summer. They can start talking again after Labor Day.

As psychotic as it gets outside, the comic can be more psychotic.

I have N'Sync and Aerosmith and Britney Spears. I have a trifecta from hell.

Democrats should be focused on which way we can help the most people in this country, and Republicans should be focused on how to do that in the most fiscally responsible manner possible.

"Equestrian", by the by, is the gayest word in the English language. In fact, I thought Brokeback Mountain should have been called Two Equestrians.

The one thing I think we learned this year is that the Democrats and the Republicans are completely worthless.

Jesse Ventura is basically proof that the people of Minnesota are not social drinkers... they are obviously alcoholics.