Political audiences are not fun.

You know what would help the instruction form? Verbs! Verbs would be nice! Because they help you get to the end of a thought!

In Canada I'm not dealing with people who are bringing in baggage, they just get it. But New Orleans will be a bit different. If there's a group of people who have a right to be bitter, it's the people of New Orleans.

Whenever someone says they believe the earth was created in 7 days, I grab a fossil and say, Fossil. And if they keep talking, I throw it just over their heads.

You don't want another Enron? Here's your law: If a company, can't explain, in one sentence, what it does... it's illegal.

The last person to get across that town in under three hours was yelling "The British are coming! The British are coming!"

There are two things I know about life... Only the good die young but the real jerks will live forever.