I do have certain feelings. My feeling is that whoever is in charge, I want him out.

Janeane Garofalo ended up, in a sense, being pushed by the media into becoming a pundit.

Johnny Vassilaros is the man who has created the finest cup of coffee ever served in the city of New York.

I'm a happy person but an angry citizen.

As psychotic as it gets outside, the comic can be more psychotic.

I've got stuff about airline mergers, which just shows that my stand-up is getting more insane by the minute.

Behind me, I heard a young woman of 25 say, "If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college." Now, I'm gonna repeat that, because it bears repeating. "If it weren't for my horse..." as in, giddyup, giddyup, let's go — "I wouldn't have spent that year in college," which is a degree-granting institution. Don't think about that too long, or BLOOD will shoot out your NOSE!