I never thought that Bill Clinton should be the president. When he was running to be the president of the United States, he said on over a hundred occasions, he said the following: He said, 'One of the great accomplishments while I was the governor of Arkansas, was to take my state in education from 50th to 49th.' And I thought, ' you know, Bill, you should keep that a secret.
Lewis BlackHarry Reid is not funny; he's creepy. Nancy Pelosi is creepy. Charles Schumer is sneaky and creepy.
Lewis BlackI think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes your mind off that.
Lewis BlackI was a drinker, so I went through the scotches. Before single malts hit, there were really cheap scotches, because nobody was paying attention to them. Then by the time they started jacking those prices up, I moved on to vodka.
Lewis BlackI feel the need to scream, and even if the scream is not answered, I find my sanity in the echo.
Lewis Black