There should be a law that you can't shut down the government - that you don't have that power.

I feel the need to scream, and even if the scream is not answered, I find my sanity in the echo.

If you stop eating donutes you will live 3 years longer.It's just 3 more years that you want a donut. < . ) < .

My parents are the last of the middle class. My father worked for the government designing sea mines. My mother was a substitute teacher. Together, they worked really only until they were sixty.

There should be a law that you can't shut down the government - that you don't have that power.

When you compare Christmas to Hanukkah, there's no comparison. Christmas is great. Hanukkah sucks! First night you get socks. Second night, an eraser, a notebook. It's a Back-to-School holiday!

I do the same gig. I might change it a little; I might slow it down if I'm in the South. I talk fast, and they're not used to people talking that fast.