I like my friends because they make me feel normal, even though I'm not.

One thing I know about the rich, being rich, is that you can take money from me and tomorrow, I'm still going to be rich.

In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in twelve years, we'll be voting for plants.

I have never thought of my entertainment as being able to bring about social change. I am seriously always looking for the laugh. What it did make me conscious of was having empathy for those without any power in this country. That has always stuck with me.

Glenn Beck is offended! Glenn Beck thinks playing the Nazi card is going too far. Glenn Beck. this is a guy who uses more Swastika props and video of the Nuremberg rallies than the History Channel.

I love anything that gets me outside of my own head.

As psychotic as it gets outside, the comic can be more psychotic.