Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

This book is dedicated to all of my friends who helped me get to where I am today - you know who you are... and when I find you I am going to kill you.

There's a whole group of Christians who believe the individual is more important, but in the end I don't think that's what Christ was talking about.

Now, most of the time you couldn't be too sure of the quality of the drug. Although, in my experience the stuff was always of a very high quality, because back then we didn't have business majors peddling lower-quality stuff in an effort to increase profits.

There is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bllodeshot eye.

When people come to my act any time after Thanksgiving, I usually say, You shouldn't be here. You should be shopping. Our economy depends on you! You should be out there buying stuff.'

Everyone of you has a health that is unique and totally different from everybody else. Completely! Because we... are all like snowflakes.