My hate of Apple has moved into a hate of Facebook.

I really wanted to talk about the War on Terror and say that both sides were completely incompetent [in addressing it]. You can't blame the other side when you're involved in it.

Most of the longer-term relationships I've known have been gay relationships. They seem to be able to hang out longer.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

This book is dedicated to all of my friends who helped me get to where I am today - you know who you are... and when I find you I am going to kill you.

When you compare Christmas to Hanukkah, there's no comparison. Christmas is great. Hanukkah sucks! First night you get socks. Second night, an eraser, a notebook. It's a Back-to-School holiday!

Socialism appeals to me. It's like imposed Christianity. You've got to share.