Growing up in Michigan was fine...until I realized where I was.

Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers.

9 to 5 made people aware of equal pay for equal work. It hasn't really happened, but it has come closer.

There's nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, 'I didn't do it right'.

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.

I try to be cynical, but it's so hard to keep up.

The formula for water is H2O. Is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared?