When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.

Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.

There will be sex after death, we just won't be able to feel it.

I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers.