When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.

I still believe that sex is dirty. It's just that now I wouldn't have it any other way.

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.

Even when I'm being funny, I'm deadly serious.

Exercise is for people who can't handle drugs or alcohol.

In the depths of the night, fear grips my heart. It paralyzes my mind. But most of all, I feel very, very alone

Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain.