Having a real public outlet is how you imprint something for yourself. It's just a matter of timing. It's like you've marked your territory.

I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They'd eaten each other.

It's a more ridiculing, divisive humor today.

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.

I wonder what it would be like if we all became what we wanted to be when we grew up? I mean, imagine a world filled with nothing but firemen, cowboys, nurses and ballerinas.

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.

We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles.