The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.

If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.

If beauty is truth, why don't women go to the library to have their hair done?

I was always empathetic with animals. It's a terrible and self-involved point of view that we do something because someone else is exploitable.

Thank God kids never mean well

You are what you think ... geez, that's frightening.

We are all in this together, by ourselves.