I think laughter may be a form of courage.

'These boat people,' says the government of Hong Kong, 'they all want to go to America.' Well, I swear I don't know why, do you? I mean, take Vietnam. Why would any Vietnamese come to America after what American did to Vietnam? Don't they remember My Lai, napalm, Sylvester Stallone?

How is it that so often . . . I get the feeling I've worked hard to learn something I already know, or knew, once.

It's not brain surgery. It's not nuclear physics. It's television. It's only television.

The best time to laugh is anytime you can.

The whole town looks as if it had been left out in the rain too long and by mistake.

Change, like youth, is purely wasted on the young.