When shopping at Dunkin' Donuts, pretend you are the mother of nine. Say things like, 'Little David likes cream-filled and Susie wanted jelly.' That way, no one will be suspicious when you order a dozen donuts with one cup of coffee to go.

Your sister is the only creature on earth who shares your heritage, history, environment, DNA, bone structure, and contempt for stupid Aunt Gertie.

I discovered, quite early in motherhood, that the longest and most painful deliveries occur when you give birth to stepchildren.

A basic rule of baking is that, in general, it's almost impossible to make an inedible batch of brownies.

There are three very good reasons to travel: 1. See the world. 2. Meet new people. 3. Room service.

After living with Richard, I discovered that men are only good at cleaning stuff they can hose down.

Major fluctuations in weight gain and loss are detrimental to your health and embarrassing to explain to your friends and family.