Your sister is the only creature on earth who shares your heritage, history, environment, DNA, bone structure, and contempt for stupid Aunt Gertie.

After living with Richard, I discovered that men are only good at cleaning stuff they can hose down.

When shopping at Dunkin' Donuts, pretend you are the mother of nine. Say things like, 'Little David likes cream-filled and Susie wanted jelly.' That way, no one will be suspicious when you order a dozen donuts with one cup of coffee to go.

Sex is probably the most fun you can have in life without gaining weight or having a hangover the next day.

My sister taught me everything I really need to know, and she was only in sixth grade at the time.

If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child.

It's surely one of the strange phenomena of this decade that the most thoughtful gift you can bring a date is not flowers, chocolates, or ankle-length pearls, but a note from your doctor.