Any idiot would know women's needs are simple. All we want is your basic millionaire brain surgeon criminal lawyer great dancer who pilots his own Lear Jet and owns seafront property. On the other hand, things being what they are today, most of us will settle for a guy who holds down a steady job and isn't carrying an infectious disease.

If sisters were free to express how they really feel, parents would hear this: "Give me all the attention and all the toys and send Rebecca to live with Grandma."

If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child.

Single people slip out of the dating market for many social, economic, psychological, and ideological reasons including marriage, illness, bankruptcy, job promotion, exhaustion, and common sense. Inevitably, however, they return because of divorce, boredom, loneliness, and memory loss.

Sex is probably the most fun you can have in life without gaining weight or having a hangover the next day.

Major fluctuations in weight gain and loss are detrimental to your health and embarrassing to explain to your friends and family.

A basic rule of baking is that, in general, it's almost impossible to make an inedible batch of brownies.