Any idiot would know women's needs are simple. All we want is your basic millionaire brain surgeon criminal lawyer great dancer who pilots his own Lear Jet and owns seafront property. On the other hand, things being what they are today, most of us will settle for a guy who holds down a steady job and isn't carrying an infectious disease.

Changing schools and friends is hard on children and can often make them desperate and lonely enough to form closer ties with a sibling.

I discovered, quite early in motherhood, that the longest and most painful deliveries occur when you give birth to stepchildren.

When shopping at Dunkin' Donuts, pretend you are the mother of nine. Say things like, 'Little David likes cream-filled and Susie wanted jelly.' That way, no one will be suspicious when you order a dozen donuts with one cup of coffee to go.

every one of us possesses a gene predisposing us toward rivalry, competition, and fits of envy with any past, present, or future siblings.

Looking young and attractive with makeup is the next best thing to actually being young and attractive. After all, a woman only has a few years where she really is youthful, but she can wear foundation makeup til the day she dies (and even after!).

The strongest common bond between the genders is the universally acknowledged truth that both men and women are unhappy with their hair.