After living with Richard, I discovered that men are only good at cleaning stuff they can hose down.

When shopping at Dunkin' Donuts, pretend you are the mother of nine. Say things like, 'Little David likes cream-filled and Susie wanted jelly.' That way, no one will be suspicious when you order a dozen donuts with one cup of coffee to go.

I discovered, quite early in motherhood, that the longest and most painful deliveries occur when you give birth to stepchildren.

If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child.

More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you've been bad and good.

A basic rule of baking is that, in general, it's almost impossible to make an inedible batch of brownies.

Any idiot would know women's needs are simple. All we want is your basic millionaire brain surgeon criminal lawyer great dancer who pilots his own Lear Jet and owns seafront property. On the other hand, things being what they are today, most of us will settle for a guy who holds down a steady job and isn't carrying an infectious disease.