Did you really think I wouldn't recognize my college futon, with its trademark absence of sex stains?

I don't care. I'll start my own group. Rejection from society is what created X-Men!

If reality TV has taught us anything, it's that you can't keep people with no shame down.

You can try to change New York, but it's like Jay-Z says: Concrete bunghole where dreams are made up, there's nothing you can do.

I support women. I'm like a human BRA.

I got rid of all my Colin Firth movies in case they consider it erotica.

My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico.