I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
My heart's pounding like I'm watching Oprah's farewell season.
Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.
Did you really think I wouldn't recognize my college futon, with its trademark absence of sex stains?
My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico.
If reality TV has taught us anything, it's that you can't keep people with no shame down.