OK, here's a little bedroom tip: Put a bag of popcorn in the microwave beforehand. That way when you're done, you have a treat.

You didn't realize emotion could be a weapon? Have you not read the poetry of Jewel?

Trying on jeans is my favorite thing. Maybe later I can get a pap smear from an old male doctor.

I don't need anyone. Because I can do every single thing that a person in a relationship can. Everything. Even zip up my own dress. You know, there are some things that are actually harder to do with two people. Such as monologues.

All around us, people were cool. By association, so were we.

It's never fun to break someone's heart, that's so sad.

I want to do that thing rich people do where they turn money into more money.