It's never fun to break someone's heart, that's so sad.

We have a show tonight. I've never missed a show. Not even the time I had that virus they kept saying only raccoons get.

Trying on jeans is my favorite thing. Maybe later I can get a pap smear from an old male doctor.

After all, isn't that what really draws the line between childhood and adulthood, knowing that you are solely responsible for yourself? If so, then my childhood ended at fifteen.

If you're ordering me an edible arrangement to say thanks, I'd prefer a meat one.

Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.

I support women. I'm like a human BRA.