God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.

Do you need sex advice? Here's a tip. Sometimes a lady likes to leave her blazer on.

Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn't cried once today? This moi.

After all, isn't that what really draws the line between childhood and adulthood, knowing that you are solely responsible for yourself? If so, then my childhood ended at fifteen.

I will not calm down! Women are allowed to get angrier than men about double standards.

Who hasn't made mistakes? I once french kissed a dog at a party to try to impress what turned out to be a very tall 12 year old.

You can try to change New York, but it's like Jay-Z says: Concrete bunghole where dreams are made up, there's nothing you can do.