Someday, one of your friends is gonna get divorced, it's gonna happen, and they're gonna tell you. Don't go, 'ohhhh I'm sorry.' That's a stupid thing to say. First of all you're making 'em feel bad for being really happy, which isn't fair. And second of all: divorce is always good news. I know that sounds weird, but it's true, because no good marriage has ever ended in divorce. It's really that simple.

I know what it's like to have a bunch of material that's working that you don't care about. You want to die.

Most Americans have so much crap, that you could lose most of it and still have way more stuff than the average Canadian.

A very painful part of being a parent is having really negative feelings about your children when you love them so much.

Most people are dead. Did you know that? It's true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead.

I was an awkward kid.

I grew up in a generation that had exponential technological advances.