I'm a good citizen. I'm a good father. I recycle and I masturbate.

You know what, it's not your life, it's life. Life is bigger than you, if you can imagine that. Life isn't something that you possess, it's something that you take part in and witness.

Plenty of crazy people in New York. There are so many crazy people here, I think it's like one out of every one person is completely out of their mind.

Sorry - Americans only buy things that come from suffering. They just enjoy it more when they know someone's getting hurt.

When you're young as a comic, you don't have a lot of leverage.

I have a lot of beliefs... and I live by none of them...

Black people have slavery. And white people have our own thing-stuff we went though that hurt us that we have to cope with. Like when they took our slaves away. That was really hard for us. So it's pretty even.