You can't direct without a good crew.

Everybody is different. Some comedy is more musical like Steven Wright. His is a pillar of comedy to me. He invented a whole form and all his jokes are poems. So it's different. I wanted to do it like George Carlin. Now I do it like me.

You know what, it's not your life, it's life. Life is bigger than you, if you can imagine that. Life isn't something that you possess, it's something that you take part in and witness.

Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.

If I do something for my kids, I get a medal, because most fathers don't.

My bank is the worst. They are screwing me. You know what they did to me? They're charging me money for not having enough money. Apparently, when you're broke, that costs money.

People get successful and they start saying, 'Well of course I am! I was chosen! I'm special!' No, you're not.