The only road to good shows is bad ones. Just go start having a bad time, and if you don't give up, you will get better.

I don't have a brother in real life.

Cars and cameras are the two things I let myself be materialistic about. I don't care about other stuff.

I've always got the road. Stand-up makes you so autonomous and self-sufficient that it really helps with that part of show business.

When people are getting richer and richer but they're not actually producing anything, it can't end well.

Bill Gates has 90 billion dollars ... If I had 90 billion dollars, I wouldn't have it for long because I would just dream of all the crazy stuff I could do with it. This guy, 90 billion dollars. He could buy every baseball team and make them all wear dresses and still have 88 billion dollars.

Most people are dead. Hitler. Ray Charles. Some other guys. But mostly those two.