Look at all the minorities around here! I'm the only majority.

I was an awkward kid.

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.

Most Americans have so much crap, that you could lose most of it and still have way more stuff than the average Canadian.

I was in a hotel room in Dallas, and I was jerking off so much and so sadly and pathetically, that the phone rang, and I thought it's them, they're complaining. ... "Sir, could you please stop?"

I don't have a gun, but if I did, I would shoot a baby deer in the mouth and feel nothing.