Everything's amazing right now, and nobody's happy.

Here's how my brain works: It's stupidity, followed by self-hatred, and then further analysis.

To me, it's very exhilarating when somebody else does a great thing, and it's not me.

If the whole country had to have the same conversation that was safe for everybody, it would be a pretty awful place to live. There wouldn't be a conversation.

I wish I could know everything ever, like that would be my wish - that's what I hope heaven is, that they tell you who shot JFK and all that stuff.

I just always loved comedy and I really wanted to be good at it. And it was heartbreaking, 'cause I started and I wasn't good at it. I was only 17-years-old, so I had a lot to learn about life in general. But I just kept on trying. I was young enough and stupid enough and I had no other choice. I had nothing else I was good at.

It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me.