Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing.

I watch a lot of sports. But when I'm not working, I'm with my daughters every chance I get.

I'd like to name my kid a whole phrase. You know, something like Ladies and Gentlemen. That'll be a cool name for a kid. This is my son, Ladies and Gentlemen! Then, when he gets out of hand, I get to go, Ladies and Gentlemen, please!

I know what it's like to have a bunch of material that's working that you don't care about. You want to die.

People say, 'My phone sucks.' No, it doesn’t! The shittiest cellphone in the world is a miracle. Your life sucks. Around the phone.

To me, art supplies are always okay to buy.

I'm not sure why I'm so often disgusting on stage. I don't always know where it comes from.