Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing.

The ability to just sit there. That's being a person.

Misery is wasted on the miserable.

Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness.

I don't think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women.

I've had two great years, probably five good years. So I had 20 years of just kind of uncertainty and suffering and ego destruction and poverty. All these things. There's no way I'm ever going to catch up to the misery years. It's impossible... If I don't do anything dumb or I don't get a disease or something, and then I've got to five to eight years I think where it'll really be great and then it will start to degenerate like uranium, you know?

Sorry - Americans only buy things that come from suffering. They just enjoy it more when they know someone's getting hurt.