Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing.

You can't answer a kid's question. A kid never accepts any answer. A kid never says, 'Oh, thanks. I get it.'... They just keep coming with more questions - why, why, why? - until you don't even know who the fk you are anymore at the end of the conversation. It's an insane deconstruction.

Stereotypically speaking feminists can't take a joke. ::audience boo:: See?

I was an awkward kid.

Performing comedy, you develop a rhythm of ideas and laughs. I live for it.

The only road to good shows is bad ones. Just go start having a bad time, and if you don't give up, you will get better.

Whenever I've encountered a Christian saying, 'Why don't you stop talking like that so I can hear you?' I think, 'Well you're the one putting the earmuffs on, but I wish you could hear me because I like you.'