My cousin Georgia says that boys are like gazelles. She says the get alarmed when they get close to girls. And they have to leap off into the woods like gazelles in trousers. Or have I just made that up?

Mum said, "It is the thought that counts." And I said, "I know, which is why I am ringing the authorities right now. Anyone who thinks like she does should be locked up out of harm's way.

I like the idea that I can talk to any teenage girls. You know, in a language that makes sense to them.

He has a song in his heart for me. I hope it is not "Shut Uppa You Face, Whatsa Matta You.

P.P.S. I am giving you telepathic hugs. P.P.P.S. But not in a telepathically lezzie way.

Tom is back on a flight at 6:15 P.M. That is 6:15. Do you get it? Not 6:00 P.M. but 6:15 P.M. And do you know how many minutes that is? I do. I have also become a Time Lord.

As I have often said, she has two styles of acting: with or without the beard.