Jas, whatever Tom has under his trousers is between you and him.

P.P.S. I am giving you telepathic hugs. P.P.P.S. But not in a telepathically lezzie way.

As she left my room I knew I should shut up. But you know when you should shut up because you really should just shut up...but you keep on and on anyway? Well, I had that.

I don't know what's going on with Mum and Dad, but it's weird. Mum keeps asking Dad to do things and he keeps doing them Unfotunately, she hasn't said 'Hand over your money and make your way to Europe!

Still, life carries on. Exams to be examined. Serious things to be thingied.

Hello, my sister, Libby, also your daughter, is snogging a potato in my bed. What are you going to do about it?' Dad started yelling uncontrollably. I wonder if he is having the male menopause? If he starts growing breasts, I will definitely be running away with the Circus.

What if you were really meant to be with someone? But you kept messing about and having the Horn and so on and you lost them.