I am soooo excited, I am over-excited. I'm hysterical, I may have to slap my own face in a minute at this rate.

He had everything a dream boy should have. Back, front, sides, Everything. A head.

I don't want to be rude to the afflicted but Uncle Eddie is bald in a way which is the baldest I have ever seen.

Some things in life are not pleasant but they have to be done. For instance, German and maths.

Who wouldn't want to see some owl eggs?" I said, "Come on then, they are down here." He said, "Tallulah, the answer to who wouldn't want to see some owl eggs is... me!!!!

...Then it said on the news, "And tonight the Prime Minister has just got to Number Ten." I looked down at Jas and said, "Ooer." Meaning he'd got to number ten on the snogging scale. And then we both laughed like loons. Vati just looked at us like we were mad.

And a secret inward voice in my head was saying (in a strange breathy voice...) Yes, yessss, I will pop round to The Blind Pig. I will 'pop' round because guess who lives at the Blind Pig? It is not a blind pig, it is Alex.