Non...I am DANCING IN MY NUDDY-PANTS!!!' And we both laughed like loons on loon tablets. I danced for ages round the house in my nuddy-pants. Also, I did this brilliant thing-I danced in the front window just for a second whilst Mr. Across the Road was drawing his curtains. He will never be sure if he saw a mirage or not. That is the kind of person I am. Not really the kind of person who goes and raises elks in Whakatane.

My cousin Georgia says that boys are like gazelles. She says the get alarmed when they get close to girls. And they have to leap off into the woods like gazelles in trousers. Or have I just made that up?

He has a song in his heart for me. I hope it is not "Shut Uppa You Face, Whatsa Matta You.

P.P.S. I am giving you telepathic hugs. P.P.P.S. But not in a telepathically lezzie way.

I like the idea that I can talk to any teenage girls. You know, in a language that makes sense to them.

I wanted to kill her and make her eat her fringe. And her knickers.

How do you make yourself not like someone?