Here is another marvy glimpse into the gothic basement that I call my mind.

He came over and ruffled my hair, which is technically assault. I could get on the blower to ChildLine.

I‘ve said it once and I will say it again, why can‘t everyone just speak English? The Americans give it a bit of a go — why can‘t other nations?

I don't want to be rude to the afflicted but Uncle Eddie is bald in a way which is the baldest I have ever seen.

I am looking at you and you are looking at me. This is very good. I am looking and I am liking. You are looking and you are thinking, 'I hope she doesn't hit me with her crop.' But that is because I am me and you are you.

This is the first day of the rest of my life. So why is my hair sticking up like a cockerel?

Cor, love a duck. And also Lawks-a-mercy. I said that inwardly, but outwardly I said, "Blimey, and also, what larks.