Still, life carries on. Exams to be examined. Serious things to be thingied.

I can already feel myself getting fed up with boys and I haven't had anything to do with them yet" - Georgia Nicolson

Overslept and had to race to get a life to Jas’s with my dad. No time for yoga or makeup. Oh well, I’ll start tomorrow. God alone knows how the Dalai Lama copes on a daily basis. He must get up at dawn. Actually, I read somewhere that he does get up at dawn.

Shut up Jas, you are not Baby Jesus

Hello, my sister, Libby, also your daughter, is snogging a potato in my bed. What are you going to do about it?' Dad started yelling uncontrollably. I wonder if he is having the male menopause? If he starts growing breasts, I will definitely be running away with the Circus.

The tannoy is crackling but I can only hear heavy breathing and snuffling. ... Uh-oh, the tannoy is crackling again. "Sorry about that, ladies and gentlemen, I momentarily lost hold of my pie.

I like the idea that I can talk to any teenage girls. You know, in a language that makes sense to them.