As I have often said, she has two styles of acting: with or without the beard.

Shut up Jas, you are not Baby Jesus

And the kittykats would have to erect scaffolding and a pulley to get him down. Mind you, I wouldn't put that past them. Sometimes when they are behind the sofa supposedly purring, I think they are drilling.

And a secret inward voice in my head was saying (in a strange breathy voice...) Yes, yessss, I will pop round to The Blind Pig. I will 'pop' round because guess who lives at the Blind Pig? It is not a blind pig, it is Alex.

I wanted to kill her and make her eat her fringe. And her knickers.

This soft grass suggests 'softness' to me, but also at the same time 'lying-down-ness'.

He has a song in his heart for me. I hope it is not "Shut Uppa You Face, Whatsa Matta You.