Okay, I'm lazy. But being lazy is a talent. Sometimes it takes an awful lot of work.

Isn't it sad that we only get upset about nasty things happening to people and places if television decides we should?

the whistle of the old steam trains ... could conjure up visions of bleak distances with one solitary wail.

That was the trouble with so many reality programmes on television - everyone wanted fame these days without necessarily working at anything to achieve it.

Just at the turn of the tide, nature held its breath - no bird sang, everything seemed to be waiting and waiting. And then, sure enough, as if someone had flicked a switch, everything started in motion again.

Okay, I'm lazy. But being lazy is a talent. Sometimes it takes an awful lot of work.

I never wanted to be a literary writer. I wanted to be an entertainer. All I wanted was to give what a lot of writers had given me: a good time on a bad day.