Well, evolution's just a theory.' And, I'm thinking to myself, 'Well, thank goodness gravity's a law.'

I'm weird; I have a very strange emotional memory. I really somehow hold on to even passing moments with people.

There's nothing more horrifying than the possibility or the idea that you will just fade away into obscurity.

Most of the comics that I talk to I've never talked to for more than ten minutes ever. So 95 percent of the time you're really hearing the first conversation between me and that guy on the podcast.

I think that standup has always been an acquired taste and there was always only a handful of performers that were really inspired.

There's this whole post-modern, nuevo beatnik, retro-bohemian thing going on, you know what I mean? You walk into some coffee shops, and it feels like you're an ex-patriot in Paris in the 20s. You're like, 'Hey, isn't that a young Ernest Hemingway over there? Yeah, I think it is! Hey, let's go have a look and see what he's writing... It's a Gap application.'

Show business is one of the few businesses that the devil will actually agree to own just a portion of your soul because he knows if you have a performer's ego you were probably working for him all along.