People who have babies tell me I will know a love that is beyond anything I can imagine, and a joy that is indescribable. Love and joy? That sounds horrifying. I have no way of knowing whether I can handle either of those. I'm much better with need and fear. They are what ground me.

It amazes me that we are all on Twitter and Facebook. By "we" I mean adults. We're adults, right? But emotionally we're a culture of seven-year-olds. Have you ever had that moment when are you updating your status and you realize that every status update is just a variation on a single request: "Would someone please acknowledge me?

That's an animal fable about humility. If you survive your mistake, you must learn from it. Accept that you're fragile, vulnerable, and sometimes stupid. Realize that you're not immortal and you've got to take care of yourself. And then laugh it off and fly away.

I'm weird; I have a very strange emotional memory. I really somehow hold on to even passing moments with people.

I think that standup has always been an acquired taste and there was always only a handful of performers that were really inspired.

I'm happy, certainly, given the times we're living in, to be doing OK, and to not be worrying about money, and to be producing something I enjoy.

On some level any appearance on Television can be seen as a product endorsement.