I'm proud to be part of a generation where reading is a 'look.'

Americans don't understand irony? I am an intelligent person living in the United States. My entire existence is ironic.

I'm weird; I have a very strange emotional memory. I really somehow hold on to even passing moments with people.

I feel bad for people who have never been addicted to anything, because they're the real losers. You want to know why? Because they don't know what it's like to really want something - and then get it again and again and again.

Dogs are too much to handle. I don't need anything in my house that's needier than me.

One thing I'm grateful for, and also surprised and excited about, is that I have a place in the community of comics now. In a real way. And I honor that. A lot of what I do is in support of the community and bringing new talent - talking to people that people don't know. And defining us as a community.

I'm just very sort of compulsive and lack the ability to keep things in perspective. If I'm not writing or playing guitar or on the microphone or out on the road, I'm cleaning pots and pans or freaking out about some plumbing issue or tweeting.