I rarely fly, for environmental reasons more than anything else.

There are a lot of comics at the top end making staggering amounts of money and selling out stadiums. I think stand-up is a more intimate thing than that. Maybe because of the kind of comedy I do. It's like a discussion, but I'm the one with the microphone.

My purist comedy friends accuse me of being a Jack of all trades and master of none.

Christians, you and your churches don't get to be millionaires while other people have nothing at all. They're your bloody rules! Either stick to them or abandon the faith.

If Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

This goes out to the followers of the three Abrahamic religions: To the Jews, Christians, and Muslims. It's just a little thing, really. But do you think that when you're done smashing up the world and blowing each other to bits and demanding special privileges while you're at it... do you think the rest of us could have our planet back?

I am not racked with self-loathing. Some issues of guilt and shame, but I'm a pretty good guy.